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Ladies and gentlemen the 17/18 Keating Memorial Carlow Premier Cup Champions
U19 fccarlow in Athlone — with Liam Hickey, David Howe, Chris Fenner, Joe Sunderland, Paul Devereux, Andrew O’Gorman, James Kenny, Kilian Cantwell and Evan Pidgeon.
Dublin v Carlow: Nine things to talk about with a Carlow person
Carlow play Dublin on Saturday in the Leinster football quarter finals and, while you might not be familiar with their football team, there's certainly a lot of things Carlow people have to be proud of. (Beating Dublin or ever winning Sam won't be one of them!!)
So for the discerning lot of you lonely hearts hoping to score with a Scallion Eater in a dark corner of a quiet pub in Portlaiose, we've put together this handy guide of how to get the nationalistic (countyistic?) pride flowing in a Carlow person.
Here's our nine things to say that can spark a conversation with a Carlow person.
They're the coolest shaped county
It looks like a dagger! (Well, with a bit of imagination.) But how many of you can say your county even remotely looks like anything other than just a blob? Fermanagh comes close by being rather reminiscent of the misshapen chicken drumsticks off the rotisserie in Supermacs, but sheer bloodlust prevails here. Also if you turn your head to the left and squint a bit it looks like a Brontosaurus taking a bite out of Wexford.
They share a flag with Cameroon
I mean they may well have picked the most obscure of African countries to share a flag with, but how many other counties can even say that they share their flag with an African country? And don't give me that Mayo and Burkina Faso crap, Mayo's is sideways. Besides, Carlow may not have a major soccer team representing them, but at least all it takes is sticking a yellow star sticker on the red bit of the flag for them to be Indomitable Lions fans come World Cup time.
Isn't it cute that Carlow people are from Carlow? Like, how else do you react? Say it's cute. The county is small and usually bypassed, so the people enjoy the appreciation.
They consistently have the ugliest GAA jerseys
Leinster GAA Football Senior Championship Round 1 19/5/2013 Westmeath vs Carlow Westmeath's Paul Sharry and Eoghan Ruth of Carlow (Image: ©INPHO/Lorraine O'Sullivan)
Considering the standard of what is a good-looking GAA jersey has changed so much, it's a real achievement that Carlow always consistently rank way, way below their compatriots. Even if your overall standards have decreased to a 5, a 3 still won't pass. Still something to take pride in, in an ironic "I'm only doing this to be funny but I know I've no chance of success" kind of way. Which is also why they still play football.
They once won the All-Ireland B Championship
I didn't even know there was an All-Ireland B Championship in football, but there you go. And in 1994, Carlow won it. Fair play to the lads. It's like winning the Europa League, I imagine. You care if you're in the final, but nobody else does, and you'll likely be ridiculed for taking pride in winning the obviously second-rate competition - and no I'm not a Manchester United fan, swear. A trophy is a trophy, mind.
The entire population can (almost) fit inside the Aviva Stadium
Okay so there's 5,000 more people in Carlow than the 51,700 that the Aviva holds, but I imagine if FC Carlow ever reach the FAI Cup final they could sell out the stadium and the fanzone and still have a handful waiting in the pub for after. It'd be a Carlow takeover! What's that? FC Carlow went out of business in 2011? Oh... well they can follow local rivals Kilkenny City then! Oh wait... well, they can come up for Robbie Williams! I'm sure they love Robbie Williams. Talk to them about Robbie Williams.